Lost Today, Back Tomorrow (hopefully).

*I interrupt my regularly-scheduled mostly-positive, reflective posts to bring you a bit of word vomit.*

This afternoon I feel a bit lost. The kids and I just got back from a fun cruise with my in-laws.  I don't get sea sick, but I have caught myself swaying a bit today as if I were still on the ship; I think this symptom is called "sea legs." I haven't spoken to my husband since Thursday when we set sail, and I have barely seen him the last few weeks. It's such an exciting and nerve-wracking time and we are SO grateful for his interviews (understatement), but I tell you what...I miss him! He's my best friend, and I feel lost without him.

As we were getting on the ship 4 days ago, Stace had just touched down in a new state for another interview. Once I boarded the ship and right before I had to switch my phone to "airplane mode", I found out an awesome Southern school would be flying him out in a few days (yesterday), and that another awesome school out west would be flying both of us out a week after that (one week from today)! In between both of these schools, he'll be going to a midwestern school (later this week). This was a lot of information to process and still I knew he had a big interview the next day.  All weekend I was wondering how it was going...how it went. This morning when we got back to the motherland, I switched on my phone and saw he'd sent me an email with updates on Friday. It went well! But through texts this AM I found out the poor guy is running himself ragged (when he flies out to these places, he's in constant interview mode for 2-3 days).  Despite having gotten the flu shot and trying to take care of himself, he's now sick and had to give a 90-minute presentation this morning with no voice.  After his presentation, he meets with every member of the faculty individually, then he goes to breakfast (sometimes), lunch, and dinner with them. So I still haven't talked to him today because he's still interviewing. I can't wait for tonight so I can finally talk to him (if he has a voice, that is)! In our 7+ years of marriage, we've never gone so long without speaking. So today I feel lost!

And I'm so, so tired. Vacations with kids have their magical moments for sure, but they are also hard! And the last few we've taken (Hawaii, Michigan, cruise...I know, I'm spoiled) have all been without Daddy. (Ok, Daddy was physically in Hawaii with us...but he spent the majority of the time in meetings or prepping for his own presentation, sooo...he really wasn't "there".) And while I really do think I have the best in-laws in the entire world (seriously, is there a competition I can enter them into?), sometimes a wife just needs her husband and a kid just needs his/her Daddy! (Don't get me started on my "how do single moms do it?" soapbox.)  The kids were extra ornery this trip.  Usually they play really well together, but I think they decided to be arch-enemies over the last few days. Also Julian forgot how to listen. And he also got into trying magic tricks...including disappearing acts (on. a. cruise. ship. Could there be anything scarier than a 3-year-old disappearing on a cruise ship for 30-45 minutes/ eternity? Sidenote: he was under the bed). We're going to be doing some major detoxing over the next few days from the constant 3-course meals, the all-you-can-eat ice cream, not much exercise, super late bedtimes, and hardly any nap times.

When we got home to Gainesville this morning we were barely standing. Ella Grace was extra feisty. My husband-less house feels empty. Also, it is a mess.

I am so excited because in a little over a week Stace has a conference in Puerto Rico with the Southern Finance Association.  There he will be presenting his research and, we just found out, will be receiving a "best paper" award, or more specifically the "Outstanding Paper in Empirical Finance" award. So naturally I have to go to take pictures of him accepting his award! :D  I am SO excited!!! My mom is going to come down and stay with the kids while I get to be with my favorite person for a few days! Granted, he'll be in meetings a lot, but I'm still so excited! You know what I'm excited to do?  Start, and then actually finish a parenting book. I can't even wait. I have about 5 that I'll be reading poolside. I'm gonna be an awesome mom when I get home! ;D ha!

I admit, I'm a little less than enthused about donning a swimsuit. I'm not feeling my best, to put it lightly. When we booked the trip, I was all into one of my many healthy kicks, but not too long afterwards I got into one of my many not-so-healthy kicks. (Have you ever met someone who yo-yo's more than me? Of course not.;) And all of a sudden the trip is next week and I don't have time to do much! When Stace signed me up to go, he was so sweet and said he wanted me to come so he could "show me off." ha! But now, uhh...I think I might need to hide under a beach towel. I know he doesn't think of it this way, but I almost feel like I've let him down! And I didn't do myself any favors on the cruise. 

Now the kids are napping so I should probably do something about this house!  So there are my rants for today. I hope, as I indicated in the post title, that I will indeed be "back tomorrow"!

Also, Happy Veteran's Day! We went to Mexico on our cruise.  Made me SO grateful for this beautiful land that I love. God bless America, and God bless our veterans!

*I don't have any pics from today, so these from the 4th of July will have to do!*

 
PS: These "outtakes" depict pretty well how my kids felt about each other on the cruise...