I can still remember watching the back of him get smaller and smaller as he walked further and further away from me. He walked out of my life for two years as he answered the call to serve a full-time mission for our church. As I watched him take each of the steps up to that little plane, I felt my heart fall out of my chest, drop to the ground, and shatter. After two years of being the best of friends, I would not even see him for two years. I would hear his voice just twice a year. I would go for long periods of time without getting a letter from him. My best friend. That image of him walking away seemed to physically hurt me inside.
At the same time, I was thrilled for him. What an amazing blessing it would be to give one's whole self to the Lord for two years. His mind would be consumed each day with doing the Lord's work, and with nothing else. What a growing experience. What an opportunity.
He needed to go for the Lord.
He needed to go for himself.
I needed him to go if he was to be the man I would marry.
I needed him to go for myself.
Yes, watching him leave that day was so, so difficult. But I would not trade that time that we had apart from each other for anything in the world. And I know Stace wouldn't either. His mission experience was so special and so life-changing for him. It was his time to "grow up unto the Lord."
It was my time to grow up unto him, too.
Sweet, quiet Stace went to Venezuela and also to the isles of the sea and learned two languages fluently and he, yes Stace, spoke them with boldness as he declared the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He made eternal friendships and was an instrument in the Lord's hands in helping families find the way to eternity with one another.
He blessed the lives of so many in the Lord's way, and in Stace's own special, humble way. I had an opportunity to go back and visit many of the people Stace taught and baptized in Aruba one year after we were married, and saw the tears in their eyes as they expressed their gratitude for "Elder Sirmans" and for the fact that he loved them, cared for them, and never gave up on them.
The Lord qualifies whom He calls.
And though he had a girl waiting for him at home,
and that was his only focus.
We hoped we would end up together in the end-- Stace somehow knew that we would and just left it at that. But for those two years, he had a higher purpose. He had an excellent attitude towards our relationship...one that allowed him to fully focus on his mission: if I were to find someone else, then that would be difficult of course, but it would be ok. If there was someone else the Lord would place in my life, Stace had full confidence in the Lord that he would place someone else in his life, as well. And that was that.
I too, grew a great deal during our time apart. What a great blessing it was to have that time to grow & mature spiritually, mentally & emotionally on my own. I needed that time. Yes, I experienced the world and was able to travel all over. But, more importantly, I learned more than I had ever known before how special I am to my Father in Heaven, and how much He loves each and every one of His children. I developed a stronger relationship with my Savior, and I learned so much from Their words. It was an irreplaceable period of my life, and I am so grateful I had it.
May 4, 2006:
The day I would see Stace again. I was so nervous. He would not like me. The chemistry would be gone. He would be scared of girls in general. He would think I was fat. Two years of not dating a single soul and locking up my whole heart would have been for naught. I was shaking...almost uncontrollably.
Then, he walked through the doors. He was beautiful. His big smile showed his teeth which were magnificently white!
The stake president soon released him as a full-time missionary for the church and we had our first hug in over two years!
Our friends Katie and John drove us to the apartment I shared with Katie and a couple other wonderful friends so I could get a few things before heading back to Stace's parents where we would all be together to catch up with this person who was loved and missed by so many.
We got in the backseat of Katie's car; I behind Katie in the driver's seat and Stace behind John's passenger seat. We put our seat belts on. Before Katie could even finish pulling out, Stace was unbuckling his seatbelt to scoot closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder. No way!
We hugged that night in my room...it was exactly the same feeling! Nothing had changed! Our feelings were the same, except even stronger. We both just knew. We talked under the stars (sounds corny, but true!) for hours at his parents' house that night. We knew we would soon be married. It was perfect. Definitely one of the best nights of my entire life.
(Stace after giving his mission report to the High Council)
We were sealed on July 22, 2006 in the Orlando, Florida temple.
Perhaps this post would have been more fitting for our four year anniversary which is coming up in just over a month. But, inspired by the blog of my sweet friend Christina, I wanted to write something now, and something special for Father's Day.
Stace and I welcomed our first child into the world on December 2, 2009. It was an amazing experience to bring our son into the world, hand-in-hand.
And what a blessing this sweet child has been in our lives, and in the lives of our family members.
Stace is truly a wonderful daddy to Julian. It is so funny, and so true, that whenever Julian wants to laugh he looks to Stace for his entertainment! It is so dang cute. They always have so much fun together!
Stace loves him so much, and has been hooked since he first laid eyes on him. He is so good at calming Julian, at snuggling Julian, at playing with Julian. I already see it in Julian's eyes when he looks at Stace how much he loves his daddy. I have a feeling he will want to grow up and be just like him.
And I am so okay with that. Happy Father's Day to the love of my forever.
You are my favorite!
