Santa's Got a Brand New Bag!!!

Merry Christmas to all!

And to all a good night!

Thank you KimBe photography for capturing our little man in all of his bitty baby glory!

Hands Down, the Best Experience of My Life

Our sweet baby boy made his big debut on Wednesday, December 2nd at 1:22 PM. Julian Charles Sirmans. My son. My very own baby. I am his mother. I am a mother. Stace is his father. Stace is a father. We are parents. Stace and Kim. I can't believe it.

Today as I sat holding him, kissing him, and reading Beatrix Potter's The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies to him, it hit me more powerfully than it has in these first two weeks of his life: I am all he has. Stace and I are. We are his stewards. I cried as I kissed the top of his head and promised him that I would try my best to be a good mommy to him. He needs me to be. We are who he will look to when lessons must be taught. Lessons of God's love, His peace, of who Jesus is and what He means to the world and to him, little Julian, individually. We are who he will depend on when he needs someone to comfort him, to teach him, to support him, to believe in him. We are his parents. Parents. It's an amazing word that now has taken on the most daunting and beautiful new meaning.

I was talking with my visiting teacher (translation: a friend who regularly checks in on me to see how I'm doing) about two months before Julian was born. She inquired about Stace and I's infertility issues. As our conversation progressed, she said so sweetly, and so matter-of-factly: "obviously there is a reason Heavenly Father wants you to be parents right now." That's so true. It must be true! This child, is, after all, a blessing from Him. How come I didn't think of it that way before? And furthermore, and everlastingly more important...why? Why does he want us to be parents right now? I know the answer to this question will unfold itself to us every day for the next 18 years and beyond. But that the Lord has placed His trust in us to care for this, His sweet child, is daunting and beautiful and humbling and exciting. How to do it? How to do it? There are so many theories and methods on parenting out there-- I've already become overwhelmed with the amount of literature there is to choose from. And yet, only as I type this...does it all seem so clear. I want to raise this baby boy the way Heavenly Father would have me raise him. I want to be the mother the Lord would have me be. Where better to turn than to the guidance of His Spirit? What better literature to look to than to the Words of Him who is perfect? There is no better place. There is no better option. There is no better parent than Him. Sorry Dr. Ezzo, Dr. Ferber, Dr. Sears. (That doesn't mean I won't read parenting books...it just means that nothing is better than what I already have-- something I don't have to order on Amazon.com.)

So, onto the birth experience, I suppose! Brace yourself...I am somehow able to drag this story out, when in fact, I had a relatively short labor. Perhaps because it was hands down, the best experience of my life. So amazing, in fact, that afterward, I was ready to do it again! ha! Is it crazy that I was already wanting another one minutes after he arrived? Probably.

Let's see. Well I went to the doctor's for my 39 week checkup on Tuesday, December 1st and was told for the third week in a row that I was a mere 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. Bummer. My midwife (LOVE HER!) did say, though "you know, I've told people that they had your progress and then that night they go into labor, but more often than not, it's a couple weeks later." Bummer. That night I went about my business, having no expectations for baby any time soon. I even went and picked up Stace's other baby while he was in class, and then went to pick him up. I had a primary presidency meeting, and then tithing settlement. Afterward we set the TV up and watched a movie. We went to bed at about 1:30. Earlier that day I told Stace "I need to make sure I am getting a good night's rest each night because today I read that fatigue is your worst enemy when in labor." Well, 3:30 AM rolled around and I woke up with what can only be described as the worst menstrual cramps combined with the worst...um...diarrhea cramps EVER! (TMI? sorry about that...) I wondered if this was it. But then I remembered what I had also read the day before: "if you have to wonder 'is this it?' then it's not it!" "Oooohhh...but how could this NOT be it?" I wondered.

I tried not to wake Stace for as long as I could. If this was it, there was no sense in us both having only two hours of sleep. I got in the hot bath for an hour and that DID indeed help! After an hour though, the pain came back much worse than even before. I got out of the tub. I lied down in bed again and curled up in a ball at 5:30, hoping it would go away. Nope. It was not going away! As I got out of bed, needing to change positions again I told Stace "I think this might be it." He came and talked to me and at 6:30 I could tell he was definitely thinking it was "it." He grabbed the stopwatch we bought at Target a few days earlier to time my contractions. These pains, (contractions?) were already every three to five minutes? I thought I was supposed to labor at home for a long time, then they would be five minutes apart, and then we would go to the hospital. Stace became pretty urgent when he saw how much pain I was in and that the contractions were so close together. I was running around trying to tidy up as best I could-- I wanted so bad for everything to be perfect when we came home; I'd become obsessive in the weeks leading up to December. Of course the day before I had let it go a bit because I thought he surely wasn't coming. Stace told me I needed to get dressed, to eat, we needed to go!

So we got in the car at 7:30 and they checked me out at the hospital. I was 2 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Well, that was fast after three weeks of only being 1 cm! The doctor told us "well, this thing might fizzle out...I don't think it will, but it might. So why dont you walk around for an hour and let nature take it's course and we'll check you again?" So Stace and I walked the halls of Labor and Delivery for one excruciating hour as my poor husband supported my aching body each time a contraction came. He would stand behind me and wrap his arms around my lower belly and apply pressure. It brought much needed relief. I kept saying "if this is it, I can't believe it. But if this isn't it, I don't know what is!" They checked me again an hour later and I was 4 cm dilated! "We're going to have this baby today!" said the nurse. I cried. "I am going to have a baby today?"

At 10:30 I got my laboring room and I immediately wanted to get into the bath. It helped so much. I am such a HUGE fan of baths anyway, but the heat helped so much. Stace rolled in a stool and turned off the light and we proceeded to watch "Enchanted" on the laptop. I felt it would be a good "escape" movie. I was right for a while, but then the pain came back with a vengeance. I needed to switch positions. So I got out and labored in any and every position I could manage to make my body move into. (Good NIGHT I do NOT recommend lying on your back!) I ended up being on my knees on the bed for a while with my arms over the headboard of the bed. Stace continued to apply pressure to my tummy and the midwife applied pressure to my lower back. At one point when she put her fist to my back, it almost felt like she punched my water out! I heard that some women are unsure as to whether or not their water has broken when it does because it can be a slow, steady trickle. But when mine broke I exclaimed "whoa! THAT was my water!" It was like a giant water balloon exploded inside of me. I cried. The nurse and the midwife assured me "it's okay! It means that everything is moving along well!" I cried and I prayed aloud. I told Heavenly Father I needed Him and that I couldn't do it without Him. I had no idea whether or not I was coherent, nor did I care in the slightest. I asked Stace days after we came home from the hospital if he knew I was praying and he said yes. Definitely wasn't praying in my closet in those moments. Perhaps the whole floor heard? Hmm...oops.

All of a sudden the midwife was calling for a table and had her hospital cap and gown on. She urged me to get on my side and joked that we were going to have this baby on all fours if I didn't. I told her I couldn't move. But she and the other nurse and Stace were seriously my dream team. They were sooooo encouraging. The midwife told me before we really got going that I was lucky because I got the best nurse in the whole hospital. By the end of the experience, she would not have had to tell me that, and I would have known it. She was so compassionate and loving, and yet was an absolute DRILL SERGEANT when I needed her to be while I was pushing. I was shocked that I hadn't broken her hand with my left hand and Stace's hand with my right. I wanted to kiss those ladies after we were done. They had helped me so much. I knew to them it was just another day on the job, but they were present and such a huge part of the most sacred and emotionally and physically taxing experience of my life. Did they know how much their help meant to me? I tried to tell them. They were angels in my life that day. I am going to tell them again...

They were all telling me what was happening each step of the way, and once Julian's head had come through I looked at Stace and he had the most amazing smile on his face of sheer joy and excitement. It was exactly what I needed, that final "umph" of motivation, to give the final push and to see my baby for myself. And so I gave it my all and there he was! They placed him on my chest immediately and when they did, he stopped crying. I just kept saying "my sweet baby" over and over again. I was holding my sweet baby! And yes, in those moments after he came as I held him for the first time in my arms, the memory of the pain was gone. "That wasn't so bad!" I thought..."let's do it again!" But in actuality, I know I had never experienced pain like it before in my life.

What more can I say? It was amazing.

The End Truly Must Be Near...

Most of you probably know that Stace has been begging me/ bugging me/ dying for a flat screen HDTV for what feels like forever.

And my answer has always been one of the following:

"Absolutely not."

"Keep dreaming."

"No way."

"Hahahahaha!"

Well, Mr. Stace decided to take things into his own hands a few weeks ago. He began selling text books on Ebay that he never happened to get rid of, and he also sold a Blackberry Pearl on Ebay that he got on Craigs List last week. Furthermore, he proctored an 8-hour exam last weekend and earned $300 doing it.

IE: he raised all the money himself (in just a few weeks)!

Because he did that, who was I to tell him "no"?

So today he did the Black Friday dance and purchased his dream TV. I seriously cannot believe he actually got it! It feels like the end of an era.

He and his brother waited in line at Best Buy for more than an hour and a half (no, we didn't wake up early for shopping; we went out at about 12 PM)-- I went to nearby Michael's and got a $45 paper cutter for $10 (holla!), Ross and Pier 1 Imports-- for this one particular TV Stace has had his eye on. Finally, Stace and Berkeley were next in line and a Best Buy employee told them the TV they had been waiting to purchase had just sold out. Bummer! I felt really bad for him...he was so close...and now suddenly and all over again, so far away...

Worrying ceased quickly when the Best Buy guy told us they'd be able to ship one from the warehouse! So Stace's little baby will be here on December 1st... I think purchasing this TV was Stace's form of "nesting."

We're still unsure as to when Stace and Kim's little baby will arrive! (But there's only 9 more days til the due date!)

So, here it is. Samsung 50" Plasma HDTV. It's 3 inches wide. Now...it's just a matter of finding a place to put it in our little apartment! ha!

Just Let Me Cry...

Back in March when we were given "the news," we just so happened to have planned to leave town that same day for a mini vacation to Orlando. Friday morning we went to the temple, and there I was blessed with one of the most meaningful spiritual experiences of my life...if not the most. I left the temple that day knowing that Heavenly Father was more than aware of my heartache, and I left with a deeply-implanted-on-my-heart reminder of His unending love and concern for me. I felt as though He was right there with me while I was in the temple, comforting me as the tears streamed down my face. I wanted the joy of motherhood so badly, and yet the day before I had been told I would likely not be receiving that joy...at least not anytime soon. It crushed me.

Afterward I got a treat at the bookstore, the latest CD by one of my all-time favorite artists, Hilary Weeks, called "If I Only Had Today." I popped the CD in when we got in the car and thoroughly enjoyed tracks 1 and 2, but then when track 3 came on, I wondered how in the world Hilary Weeks had been able to write words and music that went along with EXACTLY how I was feeling. Seriously...how did she know? I wasn't sure of the answer, but goodness gracious was I grateful she did. The song was therapeutic and comforting to me as I listened. My poor husband was so patient as I replayed the song over and over again, and just cried and cried. He just let me cry.

Fast forward to March 31st: I went on a temple trip with the youth and ever since then I absolutely. HAVE. NOT. been able to find that beloved CD. It has been (and especially had been) driving me nuts, and just recently I succumbed to the fact that I would never see it again, especially after having moved since I last listened to it.

Well, this morning I decided to do Stace a little favor after I dropped him off at UF (he is proctoring an all-day exam). I thought I'd clean out his trunk for him, and in the midst of doing so I found my CD!!! yaaaay! I am so excited! So this morning as I do laundry and work on my scrapbook, I am listening to the CD again. When track 3 came on, my heart and mind were flooded with memories of the feelings I had the last time I heard that song...

I know I've written a lot about this, but lately I have been worried that I am taking this blessing too much for granted...that I've forgotten how painful it was. Time and again since we announced we were pregnant, friends and family members have talked to me about the pain, frustration and heartache they are feeling because of infertility issues. It happened again just a couple days ago. I was reminded of the pain. While I don't want to be sad (it's not that at all), I don't want to be ungrateful, and I want to retain the ability to empathize with others.

So I will rejoice in this precious blessing, and in rejoicing, I will remember how badly I once ached for it. And I will pray for those who are waiting for their miracles. Not only will I pray that they will receive their miracles, but also that they will know that their lives truly are in His hands, and He loves them dearly and incomparably. If you are one of these beautiful people to which I am referring, please remember that He has not and will not forsake you. There is a lesson to be learned through every trial...probably infinite lessons to be learned from each one. That doesn't mean it is not supposed to hurt...that you're not allowed to cry.

I just wanted to tell you I love you, and remind you of His love for you too.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason.
We're not just tossed by the wind or left in the hands of fate.
But sometimes life sends a storm that's unexpected.
And we're forced to face our deepest pain.
And when I feel the heartache begin to pull me under,
I dig my heels in deep and I fight to keep my ground.
Still at times, the hurt inside grows stronger,
And there's nothing I can do but let it out.

So just let me cry.
I know it's hard to see,
But the pain I feel isn't going away today.
So just let me cry
Until every tear has fallen.
Don't ask when, and don't ask why,
Just let me cry.

When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me,
I understood that there would be a chance that it would break.
But I know He knows exactly how I'm feeling,
And I know, in time, He'll take the pain away,
But for now

Just let me cry.
I know it's hard to see,
But the pain I feel isn't going away today.
Just let me cry
Until every tear has fallen.
Don't ask when, and don't ask why,
Just let me cry.

I've felt joy! The kind that makes my heart want to sing!
So my tears are not a surrender,
I''ll feel that way again.
But for now, for this moment...

Just let me cry.
I know it's hard to see,
But the pain I feel isn't going away today.
Just let me cry
Until every tear has fallen.
Don't ask when, and don't ask why,
Just let me cry.

I believe that everything happens for a reason..."

High Time for a Post

Today I have officially reached "full-term" status in my pregnancy! I am so excited our sweet little guy is almost here! I thought I may as well do some catching up for now. So...let's see...I was blessed with some beautiful baby showers in Tallahassee and in Gainesville. They were all so fun and so unique, and I was so touched by the amount of love that went into each one. It was so nice to spend time with so many people I love (and miss in Tallahassee)! They sure know how to make a girl (and a baby!) feel loved, and I don't know where to begin in reciprocating all they did for me, except by just loving them back, which I do!

Peter Rabbit themed shower!

my first glimpse of the crib skirt my mom sewed!

Meet: muh gurl :| so blessed I get to have her as my sister-in-law!

My mom and my two fabulous sisters!

One of the most wonderful people I've ever known:)

LOVE these blocks!

couldn't live without 'em!

my wonderful mother-in-law!

Gainesville hostesses with the mostesses!

Can't even tell you how much I love this girl, "my cuz" :)

I finished my full-time babysitting job on Thursday, November 5. I loved watching little Kaden and I am so glad that schedules worked out for his mommy and I so well that I was able to do that right up until she needed me, which was a month before my due date. His mom was awesome (shout out to Lisa if you read this!;) and so flexible with me if I ever needed to leave early for say, a doctor's appt or to go out of town. In fact, she even worked with me so that I got to go to the temple on what was supposed to be my last day (Friday, Nov. 6) one last time as an expectant mother/ lady without any children in the span of my existence. I'm so grateful I got to go to the temple that day, and for the spiritual replenishment that filled me. I was yearning for it, especially right before I become a mother. It was wonderful.

On Saturday, November 7, my mom came down to Gainesville for the shower and also to finish sewing the crib bumper! She did a BEAUTIFUL job and I am pretty much in love with the bedding she sewed- go mama! She even had me contribute! I sewed on the crib ties and removed the basting stitching, which, to you seamstresses out there, seems like no big deal, but when my mom told me I'd have to hand-sew the ties on, I freaked out a bit inside because I have absolutely no idea how to sew ANYTHING.

So it made me feel accomplished when I finished! (Even though I know I really didn't do much of anything...haha!)

So last week was my first full week at home. I spent time painting the six letters of baby's name on six different canvases-- and I think I can say that I'm happy with how they turned out!

I spent a lot of time nesting, in general, with Stace. (yay!) On Thursday I went to Micanopy with my friend Starleigh, a budding professional photographer, to help her build her portfolio! She wanted to add maternity shots to her repertoire, and belly and I were happy to help! We had a great time! But I gotta tell ya Starleigh (if you read this), it's a good thing we went when we did because I have been SO SWOLLEN the last couple days especially...it is quite uncomfortable, and DEFINITELY not cute! No need for the size of these feet and hands to be documented!

And since this is, in fact, the "Kim and STACE" place, I will fill ya in a bit on the hubbster's life! Well, he keeps extremely busy with his PhD program, and he is loving it. University of Florida only accepted five people into the Finance PhD program, so his class-sizes are intimate and he gets to know his fellow PhD-er's pretty well. He really likes all of them and that's a GREAT thing because they spend A LOT of time together. On Thursday, they took a NINE AND A HALF HOUR LONG EXAM! Guh-ross, if you ask me. Get this, there were only three (count em, 1, 2, 3) questions. And Stace said he wrote out a total of FORTY (count em, 1, 2, 3,...40) pages to answer the three questions! Crazy, huh!? But he is loving his program, and he's doing well! In other news, he talks a lot about big, flat screen TV's...haha...he keeps me laughing:)

I am looking forward to getting even more done this week in the baby's nursery! I was a finger-tip dilated last Monday, and I go in again tomorrow-- we'll see if it has changed since then. My official due date is in three weeks, December 6. I know he may not be here for for as long as five weeks from now, but I hope he comes soon-- that means I'll have him that much longer! :)

Belly Shots!

My sister took some photos of us a couple weeks ago (at 33 weeks) to put inside a frame and mat she had people sign at the shower she helped to throw. (That post to come!) Here are a couple she took:




And this past weekend, at 35 weeks, Stace's mom took belly photos for us. She is a great photographer, and we are grateful she took them for us amidst the rush to celebrate for Halloween and even when it began raining right as we started taking photos!

Our Bun in the Oven!

I have lots of catching up to do on my blog...ah! (Can't wait to post about baby showers!) But for now, I will just go ahead and do a Halloween post:

My dear friend Karley told me what her sister and brother-in-law had dressed up for one Halloween when they were pregnant. When she said it, I loved the idea and knew I wanted to try it! I especially liked that the costumes would cost pretty much nothing!

So, here we are as two master chefs and our bun in the oven! I shoulda gotten a closer-up pic of our bun/oven. Stace got all into the making of the oven, and even insisted on putting hinges on it! ha!


My sister's husband got baptized in Destin yesterday (yay!!!!!) so we drove to Tallahassee on Saturday and stayed the night to break up our trip. This allowed us to go to Kaitlyn Herrington's Halloween/ Pre-baby bash Saturday night. I'm so glad we got to go! Here are some of the people who were there:

Melissa as "Where's Waldo", me, Kaitlyn as a snail, and Katie as leaves with her ladybug!

We watched TWO scary movies Halloween night (one at Kaitlyn's; one back at Stace's parents' house). I NEVER watch scary movies, but since it was Halloween, I was up for it. I realized that watching a scary movie with a bunch of rowdy folks is a much better way to go about it because it lightens the mood:) It was a fun night!

So Sweet

This morning when Stace woke up, he kissed me and snuggled up to me and said "you make me happy." It was such a sweet moment. I am so grateful I get to be with this kind, gentle person for the rest of my life and throughout all eternity. I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to try and make him happy for forever. I am so grateful we get to learn how to be parents to one (and hopefully many more) of Heavenly Father's precious children together. He will be such a sweet, loving daddy. My heart is bursting with gratitude and love at this moment for him and for our blessings. Gotta go grab a tissue... <3

Gathering Nuts for the Winter

Text from an e-mail I received this morning from "What to Expect While You're Expecting" online:

"If your cheeks are looking as round as your belly at 34 weeks pregnant, you're in good company — most expectant women start sporting that gathering-nuts-for-the-winter look in their third trimester."

phew...so it's not just me! Because I do feel like it's just me! ahhhhhh! I guess it doesn't help that I inherited ginornous cheekies from my dad....

thanks DAD! (pic from Christmas 2006)

Heaven Help Me

To do this:

"As disciples of the Savior, we are not merely striving to know more; rather, we need to consistently DO more of what we know is right and become better." -Elder David A. Bednar, Quorum of the 12 Apostles, Oct. 2009 General Conference

I love this quote from his talk last Saturday. His whole talk was really awesome. I love how Elder Bednar always puts things so straightforwardly.

Speaking of putting things straightforwardly, perhaps no one does it quite so poignantly as Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, also of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles, who has been referred to as "the lion of the Lord." Click here to hear the powerful testimony he bore last Sunday in General Conference.

Stace's Manly Project

I AM SO EXCITED!!!

Before yesterday, my table...was...just...disgraceful. The cats did a number on it when they were bouncing off the walls chasing each other. They never stopped to consider the effect their claws would have on my table when they bounced from wall to wall. (How rude, right?) And then, on top of that, it was just water ravaged. Simply put, it was just...horrible. I was embarrassed by the sight of the surface of my table!

Well, over the weekend, Stace gave the table some serious TLC!

TAH-DAH!!!

He did such a good job! I am so excited! I told him it went from being something I was embarrassed about to being something I am proud of! Yay for my awesome Stace!

Newest Painting!

I finished it today while watching General Conference at a friend's house! I had so much fun with this one-- I was not nearly as stressed as I was with the last one. The saying at the top is from a well-loved children's song in my church.

I thought of those words about a year ago and got all teary-eyed and thought "I want to use that in my nursery one day..." So, hopefully when the nursery is all put together, there will be a place it will fit nicely:)

Take No Thought for...??

Last night before we went to bed we read 3 Nephi 13 (comparable to Matthew 6: part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount...3 Nephi 13 was part of Jesus' "Sermon on the Mount" to the people he visited in the Americas, which is what the Book of Mormon is about). When we finished I told Stace that I love that chapter because it pointedly reminds us to focus on what is most important in life. He then teased me and made a comment about how I had been stressing about the bookcase in the baby's room before we started reading. "Take no thought for bookcases" he teased. He was right, and we laughed about it. :D

Well, Mr. Smarty-Pants is now agonizing over a big screen TV he just found on Craigs List, right before he goes home teaching. So I said, "Consider the lilies!" happy that I got back at him less than 24 hours after he "got me." hehehe;) Stace and Kim are 1-1. He then said:

"I will consider the lilies. We can watch Planet Earth and consider the lilies...and the polar bears in the arctic...on our flat screen."

So quick, that one... ;)

Wedding Fun!

I was just looking at photos of the wedding reception we attended a few weeks ago in Valdosta, GA and wanted to dedicate a post to this fun-filled event. What a blast! Stace's cousin Keener got married up in Connecticut in July, and the Sirmans family threw Keener and his truly lovely bride, Linda, a reception Southern style. It was so fun! Stace's dad and uncle C.F. provided some serious entertainment, and we all danced the night away! One of my favorite parts of the night was when I was sitting it out for a few songs and enjoying my view of the crazy dancing fools. I was sitting there criss-cross applesauce in my swivel chair, and all of a sudden I am gliding towards the dance floor! Natalie pushed me on out there and what else could I do but get my groove on while sitting down?! ha! I laughed really hard at the situation...good times!

Keener and Stace's Uncle Stevie...you see why I love this family? haha! Stevie is amazing!

Stace with his little brother, Berkeley. What a lovely bunch of brothers:)

Me and my outta-control hair with one of my favorite people on the planet, Stace's sister Candace:)

Awesome cousin Natalie with her son, my crush, Clemon!

Stace holding Alex and Brittany's baby boy, Rex. He's going to be such a sweet daddy!

Chillin after a long night of partying!
Top row, L to R: Aunt Elaine, Aunt Marie, Candace, Stace, Natalie, Shad (love him!)
Front: Berk, Linda, Keener and me

What a Fun Weekend!

It all started with Mindi's baby shower on Thursday night. It was a beautiful shower and it was great to see so many friends and to see how many of us have grown! :)

Friday I went and spoke at the Gainesville Institute's Friday Forum. I was pretty nervous, but it ended up being lots of fun and a great experience. I spoke on living up to our daily potential and I am so grateful for that opportunity to speak, although I was all nervous about it, because you always get to learn a lot when you plan a lesson/ talk. The little boy I babysit for came along and he did so good! He just sat there quietly and colored:) He's such a sweet boy!

Freya and Brett came to stay with us Friday night and it was so great to catch up with them and spend time with them. We had fajita quesadillas for dinner and chowed down on Reeses Pieces all night:) The next day (Freya's birthday!) we got to go to the temple. I do love to see the temple....it truly is our Heavenly Father's house and it is heaven on earth:)

Stace, Kim and Julian:)

30 weeks! or 7.5 months!

We met up with Chris and Kendal Hargrett and it was great to see them and catch up over lunch together! Chris and Kendal headed back to Tallahassee, and Freya and Brett (our wonderfully patient friends) accompanied us to Babies R' Us because I need to get a glider! I was so excited to pick one out, and was ready to get it (SO ready to be FINISHED with the baby's room...but I still have so much to do!), so I was disappointed to get there and see that they didn't have as many gliders on display as I'd hoped they would, and I didn't find that dream chair I'd hoped I would. :(

When we got home last night we celebrated Freya's birth by eating cake! Yay Freya!

Today was our final Primary Program practice before the big day (Sunday, Oct. 11). I was so nervous because we went waaay over our time limit last week. I prayed and prayed (and I know the other leaders and teachers did too) that today's practice would be better. We prayed and put our heads together to think of ways to help things flow more smoothly, and the practice went beautifully today! yay! I am no longer nervous about the program; now I am just excited!

And then...I came home and CRASHED! After that awesome nap, hopefully I will get to sleep at a decent hour tonight! :)

Coming to My Senses

Don't get me wrong: I have enjoyed my pregnancy very much indeed, but now that I have a watermelon belly, I kinda miss the days when there was no fruit of any sort associated with my abdomen.

Last night I was looking at photos taken in 2009 but several months ago. I wanted to kick myself. I am happy with who I am, because I know who I am. This knowledge gives me confidence, which lies in the Lord. I am a daughter of Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him. I know this with all of my heart and mind.

But still, like probably most women, I have never been fully satisfied with...well, ya know...the bod. There was always a little too much jiggle, the jeans were always a little too tight, in my mind. "If I could just fit into 'this' size..." or "If I can just weigh a little less..." I told myself. But now looking back at those photos, I would like to give myself a swift kick to the rear (which is even more infeasible now with watermelon belly). I was not fat! (yelling at myself, not you, sorry.)

I am excited to get started on getting back down to my normal size after Little Peach comes, and no, I don't need to lose an extra 20 on top of that, which is what I'd been telling myself.

I am a little hesitant to publish this post, but I think I'm posting these thoughts to hold myself accountable: both to get back down to my normal size, and also to remember that I'm not fat when I'm at that normal size. Hold me to it!!!

March 2009
I never posted the bottom two photos because I thought I looked chubbs.

March 2009

January 2009

Moral of the story for us all: though one may think that she needs to lose all this weight, in actuality, the rest of us probably think she is crazy for thinking that. So gals, let's stop beating ourselves up and enjoy a cookie! :)