So Much More than All of This

After my previous post, I'm not exactly sure how or where to begin this one. My heart does feel lighter and my outlook less dim. But let's be honest: that's only as long as I don't think about it too much:) When my thoughts dwell on the fact that the popular vote was almost split down the middle, or the hope I would feel if Romney had been elected...I start to feel down again.  

But this post is meant to come from a happier place, so quiet down you coulda', woulda', shoulda's.

I feel better than I did Tuesday night, and there are a few reasons for that. One of those reasons is that I have been again and again reflecting on a short and sweet experience I had Sunday morning.  I referred to at the end of my last post.  I have been reaching to hold onto it since the election results came in and as the last two days have worn on. I think writing it down makes it more present in my heart and mind, so I am going to do just that. There's a little part of me somewhere that starts to feel guilty for ever feeling sad in the first place after I was blessed with this experience, but I know try to tell myself I shouldn't dismiss my feelings of dismay as silly or unfounded.   

No matter which candidate you were rooting for, I feel like many of you, in that I poured my heart and soul into this campaign. My husband made an extra effort to move around his schedule when he could so that I could go volunteer for Mitt. I even gave a few dollars because I believed in this cause of "restoring America" so much. I poured my emotions and passion into this. What was at stake meant and means more to me than I can possibly articulate.  And the Lord knows that, and he was mindful of me and my feelings. My seemingly small experience on Sunday morning is a beautiful example to me of the fact that the Lord knows each of us individually, and loves each of us so completely, that he is somehow able to reach down to us on an individual level and speak peace to our minds and hearts. 

This is nothing more than me saying that the Lord knew that I would be sad, and since he is perfectly compassionate, he lifted me up by reminding me of what is most important.

Although my son loves music, he does not usually like it when the radio is on in the car because he wants to talk.  If I turn on the radio, he almost always asks me tells me (ha!) to turn it off. But Sunday morning as we began our ride to church, Julian told us to "press the buttons" and turn the radio on. Stace and I noted how strange it was for him to make this request, but didn't give it much more thought. I turned it 91.7, and we continued on our way.  My mind had been filled that morning with thoughts of the impending election. My stomach was all in knots. I sat down and wrote a post expressing myself earlier that day.  I tried to refocus my attention on the fact that it was the Sabbath and I was preparing to partake of the Sacrament, but was having trouble doing so. The songs playing on the Christian radio station did not even phase me. Even as Stace drove and I touched up my makeup, I was thinking, thinking, thinking about Tuesday. Then these words almost seemed to pop out of the radio and into my heart: 

"You were made for so much more than all of this."

The Spirit touched my heart powerfully when I heard those words.  They reminded me to remember who I am as a child of God, and the reason why I am here in the first place. Though it may be important to be an active member of one's community, it is so much more important that we keep an eternal perspective and remember the purpose of our lives while here on earth. Of course a person can do both, but one is of much greater importance. I believe I am here to gain and strengthen my faith in the Savior, to rely on him, and to prepare myself, through trial and error, to one day meet my Father in Heaven. There are and will continue to be an overwhelmingly frustrating amount of mistakes made on my part along the way, but that is where the gift of the Atonement comes into play mightily. Because of the Savior's sacrifice, we all can repent and try and do better after mistakes are made. We will always fall short, but the Atonement is always there. 

Those words said to me, how much more to life there is than things like this...

 

and this...

 

and that I have a great work to do, regardless of which one of these two men would be elected...

 

You're going to wonder where I'm going with this next paragraph...I hope I can tie it together here the way it ties together in my mind...

I had been feeling fed up with myself Saturday evening, and really many times throughout that previous week. I had been stressed at an event we attended Saturday night, as I tried unsuccessfully to wrangle a tired toddler and keep him from getting into trouble. I feel frustrated with myself when I'm trying so hard to be a good mom, to have a good little boy who listens, and then I feel like I still fall so short. I saw an old friend and our conversation wasn't what I'd hoped it would be, as I tried to keep my eyes on my wandering, whiny, and tired little boy. She confided something in me, and I wasn't present enough in our conversation and didn't respond in the way I should have. I got frustrated with my husband, and then I felt bad about that, too. I was exhausted after a long day and I felt guilty about my attitude.  By the time we got home, I was feeling like I was never going to quite be the person I want to be. 

But Sunday morning as I sat in Sacrament meeting several minutes after having my little radio experience, I read this quotation by L. Tom Perry: “One of the greatest weaknesses in most of us is our lack of faith in ourselves. One of our common failings is to depreciate our tremendous worth.” Those words, again, reminded me that I am a daughter of God with something to contribute to this world and to my family, especially.  That there will be daily misgivings and mistakes, but as long as I strive to improve myself and my time while I'm here, I can know I am moving in the right direction. That if I rely on Him, the Savior has the power and love to make up for all the places where I so desperately lack.

Though the outcome of a presidential election has the potential to effect many areas of our lives, the only person who is in charge of the way I choose to look at things and my outlook on the future, especially in an eternal sense, is myself. The most important thing I can do is to keep that eternal perspective, and remember that no matter who my president is, my Savior will always remain the same.  And my purpose in life will always remain the same: to prepare to meet Him.  

Indeed, we were made for so much more than all of this...  

 Listen to the song here. 

I also read this quote and find it comforting. and I'm sorry for "preaching pessimism" if I have done that in posts past... 

"Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail...I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. This is the favored land. This is the land of our forefathers. It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through." Harold B. Lee

"You're beautiful. You were made for so much more than all of this..."

 

so much more :)