I'm a Dead Ringer!

"What is the meaning of the phrase 'dead ringer'?" you ask. According to this British site, it means "an exact duplicate."

Well, it would be neat if I was about to post that I look exactly like some awesome celebrity, but that's not the case. Nope. But, yesterday I knew for sure I was about to be a goner...a dead ringer, in fact (albeit a different kind).

You see, yesterday I was driving along minding my own business. I glanced down at my gorgeous ring set the hubbster picked out for me when he proposed. Even after all this time, the thing still distracts me-- I love it so much. I started to wiggle it around on my fingers-- lately it's been a little bit looser than normal. And, well, the thing took on a life of its own. The wedding ring fell right on my lap, but the engagement ring said "sayonara sucker!" and fell into the apparent deep abyss between the seat of the car and the console. I wasn't too worried about it-- "hey! It's still in the car. It will be there when I get to the house." So I continued my journey homeward bound.

Upon arrival, I had a bored baby in the backseat, but I had to find my ring really quick. Well, "really quick" turned into thirty minutes and "bored" turned into downright mad. So I took the Boo Boo inside and played with him, but I could not shake the worry that my ring had somehow vanished. While searching, I found five little holes underneath the seat, perfect size for a ring to fall down into. I was driving the car my dad recently gave us-- it has heated and cooled seats-- so I thought maybe those little holes were air vents that LET OUT TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD! I was so dang dead.

I went out and looked a while longer while Julian was safely playing inside. But I couldn't stay long because I felt guilty leaving him inside. Then I called my dad. He always knows what to do. Always. And of course, he had two solutions right away. Like he knew all along I would be calling him with this dilemma.

"I have two solutions for you" he said. "One: take a vacuum with a hose and line it with pantyhose, and suck it out. If that doesn't work, take it to the dealership and they can remove the seat for you." He was so calm, cool, and collected; it calmed me down. But I was a tinge worried to have a random stranger looking for my ring for me at the dealership...because, well you know why.

I then went and picked up Stace. He is always so calm, and though I kid him from time to time that he is not a very good looker-- not to be confused with "good looking"-- (he asks me where things are, even though they are in the same place they've been forever, ex: J's socks. They're in his sock drawer! Bubba!), I knew he would be a dedicated and thorough looker when it came to my ring. But when we'd both looked, poked, prodded, gotten out about 17 flashlights and one lantern, and I had become somewhat of a contortionist, we still couldn't find it, I really began to have heart palpitations. It was that ring or my neck.

Stace had to go, and I was by myself again. Throughout the ordeal, I had in my mind that I should call my friend/(cousin:) Amelia. She always has a solution, and she's no quitter. I knew that if Amelia couldn't help me find it, it was time to take it to the dealership. I always hate to bother anyone and ask for their time, but I thought if I could just use her vacuum (I don't have one with a hose), then maybe I could do it by myself. Well, she comes over, and she of course has her figurative sleeves rolled up and is ready to get dirty in the depths of my car. She is awesome.

So she looks and vacuums for a while while I hold Julian, who seems to have zero interest in what we were doing, unlike my next door neighbors (by then, we'd drawn an audience). Then I feel bad she's doing all the work, so she holds Julian and tries her darndest to keep him happy, and I look and look and vacuum as she had done, and nothing. Then I feel bad that he's crying in her arms, so I take him inside to get a snack. While in there, I hear a happy scream above the noise of the vacuum "I FOUND IT!" I scream from inside "YOU FOUND IT?!?!?!" and come running outside! We hug and I do a happy dance and it was pretty much one of the best moments of my life! I told her I owed her my life. She was like "eh, it's no big thang." Love her. Love this ring.

That was the closest to a near death experience I have ever been, and all I can say is that next time, I'd prefer it to be quick and painless.

PS: she didn't actually suck it up into the vacuum. She felt it with the nose of the vacuum, and then reached and plucked it out of the cement wedge it had been in with her hands!

I have decided to take the blog private at the end of this month. Hopefully that will give everyone who wants to be able to read this here blog time to shoot me an email by then. :) Just send your email to sirmanskimberly@yahoo.com or leave a comment here with your email address. :) This same message will appear at the end of each post until the end of the month.